ally

Frank discussions of sexuality and kink (along with some problematic ones)

September 25, 2019

Kink bingo

I’m not really sure what to make of the fact that you made a bingo card for your kinks.

Well, hey, hit bingo, and maybe I explode or something. Besides, bbbingo was for a game jam.

So tell me about your free space.

Actually, I think many of them come from a similar space: recasting bad or uncomfortable experiences from childhood into some positive light. A way to reclaim them and make them positive again.

How is humiliation positive?

Okay, maybe some of them are not so much ‘again’.

I don’t imagine non-consensual sex ever was, no.

Not really, but using kink as a coping mechanism for anxieties around rape is at least a way forward for me.

Ditto humiliation. Being made to feel inadequate, often by people I was supposed to look up to, was such a negative force in my life — in Matthew’s life — that it left me with quite a bit of baggage. This is just a way to sort through it.

Sexily.

I suppose. It’s something of a metakink. Many of the others stem from that, or from a similar core interest.

Scent-play as a means of degradation: why would a snow leopard smell of canine? Fits in nicely with knotting. Why not toss in some species denial, too; no more kitty, you say ‘arf’ now.

Scruffing, in the context of furry, especially with felines, is a means of rendering one helpless. Coercion and weakened mental states fit as well. Those all sort of tag along with the non-consensual core kink

So, pain and blood? Breathplay?

Yes. Abuse. Damage. Bad ends.

Where do those come from?

Self hatred. Self harm. Destroy me before I destroy myself.

Really?

No, of course not.

But some part of you actively believes that? Some part of you actively craves someone destroying you? Beating you bloody? Choking you? Leaving you for dead with casual nonchalance?

Yes.

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