September 10, 2019
My turn.
Shoot.
Why ask this now? Why ask about the core instead of a side quest?
I did. I asked about TS.
Don’t deflect.
Okay.
Why ask about the project? Why ask about yourself?
You had job interviews. You had the convention. You’re visiting Barac. You stopped writing for a bit.
I started again, didn’t I?
Yes. Hypomania is fading into the comfortable static of a ground state, though. You’re still writing. That’s why I’m asking. Why are you writing this if you’re not hypomanic?
I wrote a bunch of Restless Town when I wasn’t hypomanic.
Yes.
I wrote some of Rum and Coke when I wasn’t hypomanic.
It shows, in the last one.
I’ve grown as a writer. I’ve grown as a person. I can continue projects whose inception lay in hypomania.
And yet you say that you know a thing is right if you feel the same when depressed as when hypomanic. You can tell a decision is worth making if something other than strange energies birthed it.
Yes.
Did strange energies not birth me?
I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t think they birthed this project, though. I think this project is…hmm.
An honest one? A true one? A worthwhile one?
Sort of.
Maybe I think it’s an earnest one. One that was borne out of a real desire, birthed by a need beyond what might be imbued by hypomania. A more grounded need, not one based in those non-Newtonian laws that govern that other space, where mechanics break down and strange energies spring, palladial, into being.